Stonewalling During Arguments

Shutting down, going silent, walking away mid-conversation, or refusing to engage during conflict. John Gottman's research identifies stonewalling as one of the "Four Horsemen" that predict relationship failure with over 90% accuracy. It's different from taking a requested break to cool down — stonewalling is unilateral withdrawal used as punishment or avoidance. The receiving partner feels dismissed and invisible, which escalates their distress, which makes the stonewaller withdraw more. It's a death spiral disguised as "keeping the peace."