Refusing to Define the Relationship After Months

After several months of consistent dating, asking "what are we?" is reasonable. Someone who consistently deflects, changes the subject, or accuses you of "pressuring" them is keeping their options open while enjoying the benefits of your commitment. Relationship therapist Esther Boykin calls this "benching" — keeping someone emotionally invested while never actually committing. It's not about needing a label on the second date. It's about someone who treats your need for clarity as a character flaw rather than a legitimate request.