"I am the table" — 87 minutes of collaborative confusion.
Lou Reed and Metallica walked into a studio and created something that pleased exactly neither fanbase. "I am the table" became an instant meme. Reed doing spoken-word poetry over thrash riffs sounds like a bit from a comedy sketch, except it's 87 minutes long and entirely sincere. Rolling Stone gave it one star. Lars called it "the best thing we've ever done," which says more about Lars than about the album.

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