Slim Jim

The Slim Jim has been hanging on gas station checkout racks since 1928, and its ingredient list reads like a chemistry experiment — mechanically separated chicken, corn syrup, dextrose, and enough sodium to preserve a pharaoh. None of that matters at mile 300. You snap into it (as the late Macho Man Randy Savage demanded), and the salty, smoky, vaguely meaty flavor hits exactly right. ConAgra sells over 500 million Slim Jims a year. They know what they're doing.