Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

Emily Nagoski synthesizes decades of sex research into one core insight that therapists call revolutionary: desire is not a drive (like hunger) but a dual control system with an accelerator and brakes. Most sexual problems aren't about broken accelerators — they're about stuck brakes. Context, stress, body image, and relationship quality all hit the brakes. Nagoski's framework removes shame and replaces it with science, which is why therapists hand this book to individuals and couples dealing with desire discrepancy — the number one sexual complaint in long-term relationships.