Ed Sheeran — Mathematics Tour ($890 Million)

Sheeran's Mathematics Tour grossed $890 million — and here's what makes it remarkable: it's one man with a loop pedal and a guitar playing to 60,000+ people. No band. No dancers. No elaborate set pieces. Just Ed, building songs layer by layer live on stage. Tickets averaged $100-250 — the most affordable major tour of the 2020s. He played 148 shows across five continents. The fact that a ginger dude with an acoustic guitar can sell out Wembley five nights in a row and gross nearly a billion dollars is either inspiring or proof that the simulation is broken.