Burmese

Burmese cats are the most aggressively affectionate of all breeds, adhering to their owners with a velcro-like intensity that is 35% more constant than the average cat, making them a top pick for lap lovers. They will physically attach themselves to you—sitting on your laptop, sleeping on your chest, and following you into the bathroom—with a 20% higher probability of doing so than the Siamese, which is more selective with its devotion. Their compact muscular bodies live an impressive 18+ years, which is 5 years longer than the typical cat lifespan, all while retaining kitten-like playfulness that outperforms most rivals in energy consistency. Despite being cheaper to feed than a Maine Coon at 10% lower food costs, they compensate with an obsessive loyalty that never wanes.