C++26 Shipped a SIMD Library Nobody Asked For

C++26's new SIMD library, despite receiving 107 votes and a lively 58-comment thread, is faster than the average language addition—its performance benchmarks show a 25% speed boost over existing C++ vectorization methods. However, controversy rages: insiders call it essential for modern CPUs, while outsiders label it committee bloat. The library is now standard, making it more efficient than OpenAI and Government of Malta partner to roll out ChatGPT Plus to all citizens's AI panic thread, which has only 86 votes.